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Five reasons to get yourself a sugar daddy

Sugar Daddy - Bravo TV

There are so many negative stereotypes associated with sugar-daddy, sugar-momma, and sugar-baby relationships. Some call these relationships a form of light prostitution, transactional, and a way for ugly old rich guys to get pretty girls and for dumb girls with big boobs to "marry up." The list goes on.

But nobody ever talks about the genius behind these relationships. Think about it: we're all primarily chasing two things in life: love and money. In other words, we're all searching for ways to sustain our mind and body-- both integral for survival. So if you found a way to make your path to reaching these two supplemental goals as efficient as possible... would it be so bad to take it?

Here are five reasons to get yourself a sugar daddy-- or, if you're the sugar daddy/ sugar momma, a sugar baby:

1. You'll never have to work again.

"But what if s/he dies? Or makes you get a divorce??"

Being married to a rich person has always been a foolproof way for people to become rich-- that's why prenups exist. Even if you get a divorce or become widowed, they're likely to leave you with alimony or a hefty will. And if they're a lot older than you, you won't even have to wait so long. Just be really nice to them while they're alive.

The advantage to the sugar daddy or sugar momma is obvious. Fresh young ass until you die! And it's not very likely your sugar baby is gonna start his/her own business and become financially independent and not need you anymore and then leave you. If s/he were that much of a hustler s/he wouldn't have needed to marry you in the first place.

2. The one with the money is usually also the more mature one.

I don't know about you. But personally, if I had a lot of money, I wouldn't trust a young person to take are of it. I'd give it to an older, more experienced person. And in the classic sugar relationship, the sugar daddy/momma is usually a lot older and more mature than the sugar baby.

Not to piss on young people's money skills, but we tend to be a bit more reckless. Letting old people manage your money can be key to financial stability if that's what you're looking for.

3. You'll get to live your own life.

Believe it or not, sugar relationships can be very liberating. I personally know a good amount of people in these relationships. They tend to be exceptionally mindful of each others' boundaries, and they usually have their own separate lives during the day: sugar daddy managing his business or finances or whatever, and sugar baby taking care of kids or at the spa with girlfriends, et cetera.

Very rarely will you see people in sugar relationships cross the line of telling the other partner what they should be doing with their time, or how they should do things. Unlike regular relationships, these people tend to have totally separate, albeit complementary lives. That's why they attract.

4. The expectations are clear.

No playing games. No push-and-pull emotional roller coasters. No "negging", sugar-coating and unnecessary mind-reading-- in the sugar daddy/momma-baby-relationship, the expectations are clear. You're there primarily either for your body or your money. And once we've accepted and are upfront about that, the rest of the relationship flows pretty easy. No secrets or hurt feelings.

5. You are more likely to be happier and fall in love long-term.

This sounds counterintuitive, right? How can you fall in love with someone if your entire relationship was built on nothing but money and fresh ass in the first place?

Well-- you're not gonna like this, but that's how many loving relationships subconsciously start. Superficial qualities like wealth and physical attractiveness might only be bait for a relationship to be instigated or continue longer than it otherwise would, but at the end of the day that's all that's needed in order for love to have a chance:

Both parties must be willing and motivated to stick it out and allow time for their partners to grow on them and to work out their differences. If you ask rich and single old wo/men, or young and attractive broke wo/men, money and looks can be quite the motivator. Isn't that knowledge easier to rely on than the vague ol' "it was love at first sight?"

So if you're an old ugly rich single person, you can still find love!! Get out there and find the hottest young ass you can find, find the sweetest young face and ask them if they'd like to join you on your private jet for New Years. If you're a young broke ass dumb kid, don't lose hope! You can still have a fancy life. Just head to the most expensive bar in your city, wearing the sluttiest outfit you can find showing the most chest cleavage, and ask a nice older person if they'd like to buy you a drink. (Order the most expensive thing on the menu obviously-- don't want fakes now do we.)

And who knows. Maybe your next bikini selfie will be from Curacao this holiday season!

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