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What women in Washington, D.C. like to do in their free time

I'm sitting in a cafe in Capitol Hill. It's a hot, sunny Wednesday afternoon. I'm surrounded by four tables, all occupied by women who look like they are in their fifties: one table is at my 12 o'clock, one at 1 o'clock, one at 11 o'clock, and one at 9 o'clock.

Why are there so many women here?! Is this what politicians' wives do while their husbands are grilling tech CEO's in congressional hearings? I wonder. It feels like I'm at a ladies' luncheon back in Beverly Hills, where housewives will have mimosas and gossip about other women.

But-- I'm in Washington, D.C., and the ladies here must have different types of conversations. Perhaps more meaningful conversations that don't involve analyzing this girl's love life and that girl's new dress and that girl's husband that I wish I had. In Washington, D.C., the ladies probably talk about politics and news and money. Or maybe the latest book they read.

LOL. No they don't. I'm listening to these ladies right now. They're talking about other women.

One table is having a conversation about how some other lady got her daughter into Georgetown. "How did she pull that off? I bet her husband knows someone in their admissions. Her husband knows how to pull strings like a puppeteer." That was the 9 o'clock table.

Another table is having a conversation about what some other lady wore the other day. The 12 o'clock one. I kid you not. Now they're looking at a picture on their phone, presumably of the thing that other lady was wearing.

The 11 o'clock table is a bit hard for me to hear, but they are sitting facing the doorway and staring at the other women who walk in, observing while laughing. One of them pointed. Trust me, I know gossip when I see it.

And the 1 o'clock table, well, I thought they were the exception when they were discussing work stuff... until I realized it had nothing to do with their actual work and everything to do with their coworkers' marriages. Ha.

There you go. Women all around the world are exactly the same. I bet if I were sitting in a coffee shop in Beijing the fifty-something-year-old women would be talking about the same exact thing except in Chinese. At least I know exactly what I'm gonna be like in thirty years.

Well, I'm gonna go back to work now. So that when I'm in my fifties, I can retire and sit at a coffee shop like this one and wear pearls while gossiping the shit out of other women. Tootles!

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