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Moving to a “third world country” may have saved my feminine life force

A few years ago, I announced on YouTube that I planned to leave “the West” in pursuit of my “femininity.” I told my then on-and-off boyfriend of my plan, and he decided to join me. We are both happy about our decision, and are currently living together in Bali, Indonesia.

In the years leading up to the decision to move out of the United States for good, I had noticed a few shifts happening in my body. I felt that my organs were deteriorating faster than they should at my age, my attraction level for the opposite sex (which was vital for my desire to reproduce with them) was declining, and I felt myself hardening and becoming a more cynical and less soft and carefree version of myself. As a woman in her twenties whose strength was often described by others as being very “soft” and “carefree”, this was scary. I didn’t want to lose the things that made me feel beautiful. I also had always known intellectually that I wanted to have a big family, just as I had enjoyed as a child, but as an adult I was losing the desire in my body to make that happen. I knew that a big influence on my body’s lack of desire to continue my bloodline, was the culture and hyper-sterile environment was living in.

On August 3, 2022, I flew to Miami, Florida, met up with my boyfriend in the airport, and with him, flew to Cartagena, Colombia. We ended up spending nearly a year in Colombia, before moving on to experience several other countries in LATAM. We both were under a lot of stress, as we were both in the process of downsizing and getting rid of the anchors that were racking up debt and trouble for us back in the States. It took about 20 months to get rid of all of it, and simultaneously create new survival plans while living on the road, with all but two backpacks and a set of laptops. I wrote about my survival strategy in detail, in my book, “House Hackers Anonymous: a 12-step survival program for my younger self.” I’d highly recommend anybody who is struggling with financial security read this book.

Moving offshore was a really important decision for me in many regards, whether in regard to my financial situation, my confidence and creativity, and my health. But it was especially important to my feminine life force.

It’s really difficult to fully comprehend to even be able to properly explain the energetic suicidal ideology that exists in many Western countries nowadays. For me, the awareness of my country’s disdain for life was there, but it took traveling and spending time outside of the States for an extended period of time to be able to explain it.

When I say that there was a disdain for life in the United States, I don’t mean that people were going around murdering each other in broad daylight, although you can certainly find such crimes in U.S. cities. What I’m really referring to is the disdain, or lack of tolerance, for the things that make us human: feelings, rage, emotional ups and downs, and the ability to express these feelings in a human, “irregular” fashion. In many cultures where women are not systematically put on birth control and other medications, irregularity of feelings is a part of life, and it is in a way, very regular. You can have a spat with a buddy over something silly one hour, and be best friends and hugging the next hour. Emotional range is the way of life. Bluntness and honesty about one’s feelings is less tabooo as it is in Western societies. A woman’s cycle is not something to be controlled or tolerated, but to be admired as part of her aliveness.

Having spent enough time in passport bro circles, one thing I notice Western men often complain about the non-Western women they meet in their travels, is that they are a lot “crazier” than the women they are used to back home. The women that they are used to back in the West might not be very attracted to them, but they are also not expressing the same range of emotions that are being regularly expressed by the less medicated and hormonized women abroad.

For a lot of men who are used to dealing with Western women whose life forces have been suppressed for generations, the burst of range they experience from non-Western women is simply too much to handle. And I don’t blame them. It often takes a strong nervous system, confidence, safety, & stability, to be able to properly sustain and handle the range of life that will often come out of the raw, unmedicated human female. This is perhaps the number 2 reason many passport bros move back to the West. (The number 1 reason is most likely the unrealistic expectation non-Western women often have that every Western man they meet is a billionaire.)

It feels good to be in an environment where life is everywhere, and it is not only tolerated; it is loved and sustained. Animals are breeding everywhere, fruit trees are breeding everywhere, humans are breeding everywhere. There is no feeling of scarcity when it comes to life. The ground can handle another seed falling on it, and so can humans. We can handle nature, and we can flow with it. We don’t have to constantly fight with it.

When I first got my period, my mom started taking me with her to her regular checkups at the gynecologist. I didn’t have any fundamental problems with my period, but I was having acne and hormones . The doctor suggested I get on birth control immediately. He said he suggested this for all his teen patients who wanted a more controlled menstrual cycle and less acne. Looking back, that is crazy to me. American female teens are actively suppressing their feminine life force from the moment it shows itself, and the whole culture and ideology perpetuates this suicidal cycle. I’m surprised that any woman in America is still fertile these days, let alone sexually excited by any biological man.

I recently removed my IUD and have been allowing myself to truly enjoy my monthly cycles. As I relax my nervous system in the presence of natural whole foods and a generally active and unregulated outdoorsy lifestyle, my periods are no longer something to dread. PMS is no longer a requirement for my periods. Instead, my menstrual cycles now comprise of periods of sleepiness & relaxation, periods of intense euphoria, periods of sacral “work” energy, and plenty of sexual energy. My cycles are no longer being controlled and suppressed as they had in my old sterile, androgynous, working-class factory lifestyle in America. Despite being a 30 year old woman who has put her body through a lot in the past, I suddenly feel like a horny teenager. My family members commented over FaceTime that I have gotten younger looking and more fit despite eating more carbs.

People say African, Asian, and South American women “genetically” age better than Western women. I have to say that having experienced both sides of the Western versus non-Western lifestyles and cultures, the genetic argument is such a load of crap. There is a clear lifestyle and cultural difference between the way the human life force has been treated and honored in non-Western countries versus Western countries, and it’s not even close.

What I’m saying is about to be a moot point, by the way, since many “third world” countries are following in the way of Western ideologies and ways of life. I recently had a conversation with a Balinese man who lamented that youth in Indonesia are becoming more unhealthy, less fertile, and more likely to die young with every generation. Youth out here puts American cultural icons on a pedestal. Soon, we are going to see more of the reverse dynamic in many non-Western countries, where the healthiest and most fertile families are the Western “hippie” foreigners that are tuning into their bodies’ natural cycles more readily, and the unhealthy families are generally the ones following the older industrialized Western standard of hyper-regulation and overmedication. Very interesting to watch. I’m already noticing Western expat families in Bali are popping out more children close in age than I’d typically see among secular American families.

For now, for me, moving offshore has come with clear benefits to my femininity. I’m no longer concerned with trying to prove to anybody how hard I’m working as a “boss bitch woman” or how level headed and stoic I can be. The working class paradigm simply doesn’t exist for foreigners here. I am simply learning to fall in love with the most alive and feminine parts of myself. I feel genuinely attracted to my male partner, in all his raw parts, and I feel genuinely appreciated and loved by my environment for being a fully alive woman. I am genuinely excited to have children someday, not just in my mind, but in my body too.

I just hope it’s not too late. Female fertility is a delicate flower to be cherished and protected, and I am so regretful for having ever taken mine for granted. I have taken all the fertility tests necessary, and am doing the best I could to cultivate and revive my body’s natural life force. At this point, it’s just a matter of allowing nature to do what it knows to do. I trust that it knows best.

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