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There's something sweet about being as sick as I am right now and having an excuse to not be constantly doing something "productive" or thinking about this or that. As the hours move along, I feel less bound to where I am in the present moment. It's kind of like being high. I can't remember where I was a second ago, let alone in the past hour.

Am I daydreaming? Nah. If I were daydreaming I'd at least be presence somewhere else, like in a dream. But I don't feel present anywhere. I feel present in little spurts through my fingertips, on and off, very lightly. Even as I read back what I write, I forget what's beyond every four words before the word I'm typing right now. Does that make sense? I hope it does, because by now I don't remember if it did.

Anyway, back to the topic. What was it again? Oh, yeah. Delirium. And how I feel about it. I like it. Delirium is sweet, light, calm. Nothing matters and I kind of like that.

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Everything matters, just some more than others.

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